Sherloki: DON'T DO THE THING
by piratewitch92
Summary: A collection of one shots focusing on the love life of a consulting detective and a Norse God. Shenanigans ensue.
1. Chapter 1

I

John wasn't quite sure how they ended up in this strange predicament. He was fairly certain it was somehow Mycroft's fault. Frankly, the former soldier wasn't too fazed by the idea of a convict Norse god taking up his former room at Baker Street. He was slightly more concerned that Sherlock would say the wrong thing and end up dead. Again. Two drama queens in one apartment was a recipe for disaster.

So the last thing John expected was to walk in on a very heated… and very noisy makeout session between Loki and Sherlock Holmes. The two didn't seem to even bother to register the man's existence, far too preoccupied with their groping hands and clashing teeth. "Oh. My. God. Literally."

"John, can you get Sherlock to- Oh." Still no acknowledgement. The doctor and his wife exchanged glances, John's one of annoyed disbelief while Mary's was one of coy maternal excitement. "I knew they'd end up together. Mrs. Hudson owes me 10 quid."

"You know, Mary, most people are uncomfortable watching other people make out."

"Why would I be bothered? They're both very handsome."

"_Mary!" _

"Oh fine. I'll break them up." Mary made her way to the kitchen, leaving poor John with the consulting teenager and his godly boyfriend. At this point in the juncture, Loki had Sherlock pinned underneath him, alternating between unbuttoning and just ripping the detective's shirt off. Sherlock, meanwhile, appeared to be making his best attempt at sucking Loki's lips off, peppered with a few choice swear words about the god's "stupid, uncooperative armor."

"My god. You two have to realize I'm here!" The only semblance of a response was a throaty, dare John say flirty chuckle from Sherlock. "Obviously not. Bloody teenagers."

"Alright here we go." Mary returned and proceeded to dump an entire pitcher of ice water on the pair. That did the trick.

Loki quickly shot backwards to the opposite end of the couch. Sherlock sputtered indignantly and shot a glare at the Watsons. "Hi boys!" Mary greeted, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She held up several department store bags. "I got you some new clothes, Loki. I had to guess your size though, I hope they fit." The mischief god simply grabbed the bags and bolted to the bedroom, keeping his face and hands hidden. The good doctor's wife followed like a concerned mother. "Loki?!"

Meanwhile, John and Sherlock shared quite an epic stare down as both were agitated by what had just transpired. "You really could've just ringed john. Ice was quite unnecessary."

"You put the doorbell in the refridgerator, Sherlock. Besides, you would've been too focused on swapping spit with Loki to have heard it anyway!"

"How long had you been standing there?"

"Oh about five or ten minutes, give or take. I even yelled at you to get your attention."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Hmph." The consulting detective flopped back onto the couch, rolling to face the wall. "Well obviously you aren't loud enough." John opened his mouth to argue then remembered he was arguing with Sherlock Holmes. He wasn't going to win.

"You're soaking the sofa."

"Your lovely wife's fault. It was really quite rude of her to irritate Loki's ice allergy, by the way."

"How can he be allergic to ice?"

"I'm still working on that." The blogger shook his head in exasperation.

"Go change and check on your boyfriend. I'll be expecting you in ten minutes."

"Fine." Twelve minutes later, John Watson was perched in what was nicknamed the Client Chairs, and Sherlock was making himself comfortable, having changed and cleaned himself up. "Do we have a new case then?"

"I do." When the detective's eyebrows knit together, the doctor continued, "I think I'll call it 'Sherlocked out of the closet.'" There was a short pause. "Mmm, maybe not. Terrible name."

"In other words, you want to know the details of mine and Loki's relationship."

"There you go. Now you're catching up."

"Therefore you must have quite a few questions."

"One or ten, yeah."

"Such as?"

"Oh I don't know, how about how long have you two been snogging?"

"Three weeks and we don't just 'snog'." Sherlock made quotations in the air as he said this.

"But you do snog like teenagers."

"No we don't!" Sherlock then contradicted himself by saying, "Only after lunch and before Mycroft visits."

"Are you two at least being safe?"

"John, we are both biologically male. It's highly impossible for either of us to end up pregnant. And you're really asking me that when we've only been dating three weeks?"

"Myths say he's quite… insatiable."

"They also say he had relations with a rock. They lie." John opened his mouth to make another point. "No. John. No sex." John was more than a little amused by Sherlock's discomfort on the subject. "Any other questions?" He swear he saw an anime tick mark on Sherlock's forehead.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The detective seemed confused by the genuine hurt and concern in Watson's voice. "You're my best friend and I hope I'm yours. You could have told me."

"Ah yes, well he is an intergalactic criminal with a talent for lying, negative judgment is bound to occur. And… this wasn't supposed to happen…"

"What wasn't? Sherlock?" John could never have expected the reaction he received from Sherlock Holmes.

The detective ducked his head behind his fingers, but not before the good doctor noticed the pink tinge creeping up his pale cheekbones. Sherlock actually seemed embarrassed. "I was trying to trick him so that some information might be gathered for S.H.I.E.L.D. I began this endeavor shortly after Loki was dropped onto our doorstep."

"That was two months ago, Sherlock."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that, John."

"So what changed?"

"I'm not quite sure. Although I have narrowed it down to at least three particular instances."

"Always trying to reduce our romance to mere mortal science, my pet. I'm wounded." Loki draped himself onto the arm and back of Sherlock's chair, curling around the detective like a cat. "Surely, the all-knowing Sherlock Holmes does not need to know everything."

"Perhaps not, but I'm going to anyway. And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me your 'pet?'" John watched the flirtatious exchange with a small smirk. Sherlock Holmes in love, who would have thought it possible? The Immortal Psychopath and the High-Functioning Sociopath. Go figure.

Still, watching Loki dote upon Sherlock made John think of a cat toying with a canary. The Mischief God exuded danger. Even now as he was garbed in a simple emerald sweater and black slacks, Loki made John feel uneasy. He had no doubt Loki could and would hurt Sherlock. But Sherlock was a big boy and wasn't fooled easily. John trusted him to get himself out of it if this became too dangerous. Besides, Sherlock had taught him just how much things aren't as they seem.

"You have been very accepting of this news, Dr. Watson." The hair on the back of John's neck stood up as Loki addressed him. "Better than that annoying foppish brother of his."

"Mycroft know about you two then?"

"Yes, my irritating brother deduced us about two weeks ago and has been trying to break us up ever since."

"Sherlock, and now your wife, won't let me curse him. I think he'd better serve everyone as an ass."

"Loki, humans do not consider it polite to curse one another."

"Said the assassin."

"Shut up, Sherlock. Besides, you're supposed to be in hiding," Mary reminded him as she perched on the arm of John's chair.

"I dunno, Mary. Might do him some good to spend time as an ass," John quipped.

"Now, John, Loki can't turn Mycroft into something he already is," Sherlock explained.

"Boys, don't encourage him!"

"Why not? It's so much fun. Loki's mind is so delightfully creative if a little bit twisted."

"Oh, Sherlock, you are far too kind to me."

"Well, there's something I've never heard before," John snarked.

"You speak to the wrong people, Doctor."

"No, you have potentially terrible tastes in men. Or Sherlock does. Or both since you're both twisted in the head. That's all."

"John, we have an appointment," Mary reminded before Loki could do anything other than glare daggers at him.

"You're right. We need to get going. Boys, _behave. _No turning Mycroft into a donkey."

"Yes, John/Dr. Watson," was the unanimous reply.

"And remember to be safe in the bedroom," Mary added. Loki busted out laughing as Sherlock choked on his tea. "See you later, boys!"

"I like her!" Once the Watsons had left, Sherlock (having cleared his throat of the offending tea) turned to his other-worldly lover.

"You're going to use your magic on Mycroft no matter what we say, aren't you?"

"But of course! He's far too rude to leave unpunished. Now where were we?"


	2. Chapter 2

II

"You are absolutely terrible at this game, Loki."

"Shut up, Sherly."

"Don't call me Sherly."

"Don't mock my skills, Mortal."

"You mean your lack thereof?"

"I have many far more valuable and necessary skills. This is pointless."

"Are you surrendering, Mischief God?"

"You know I never surrender, Mortal."

"You did last night though."

"Shut up! I can't focus." _**BZZT! **_"_DAMMIT!_"

"Now, now, Loki. You have to be gentle with the patient." Loki shot Sherlock a venomous glare from across the Operation board. He then proceeded to throw the funny bone which had caused the buzz at Sherlock like a dagger. "That was mature."

"You made me lose."

"I did not! You just have no talent for medical operations."

"We have no need for such procedures in Asgard. Healing magic is far more efficient."

"Is your little freak homesick already, Sherlock?" If Loki's glare could get any icier or more furious, Mycroft's taunting voice certainly did the trick. The elder Holmes brother sauntered into the room, seemingly ignoring the god's ire. "He should have thought about that before he tried to destroy a planet."

"I tried to take over rule of this pathetic planet. Not destroy it," Loki hissed. "It's good to see you as well, Ass."

"My name is Mycroft, freak. It's not that hard to remember."

"Neither is Loki, Mycroft, which is _his _name," Sherlock interjected before the god could murder his brother. It was times like this when he was glad Thor had confiscated all of Loki's daggers. "Now did you have something of importance for invading my home other than antagonizing my boyfriend?"

"I merely wanted to be sure you were still alive, Little Brother. Is that not allowed?"

"I'm a big boy, Mycroft. I can take care of myself." The detective snuck his hand behind the game board to grasp Loki's trembling fist. "Since when are you so caring about my safety anyway?"

"I always care in my own special way."

"I have a few scars that say otherwise."

"I couldn't blow my cover. And you weren't wooing a criminal."

"Mycroft, enough."

"I have not, nor do I ever intend to harm Sherlock," Loki rebutted, eyes turning a scalding emerald. Mycroft just gave the seething god a condescending smirk, leaning on his signature umbrella.

"Of course you don't… God of Lies. But then you never do, do you? Or so you say. It's simply in your nature to destroy everything you touch." At that, the mischief god knocked his chair over standing up, an emerald flaming fist aimed at Mycroft's face.

"Loki, _DON'T!" _The fist stopped just short of Mycroft's cheek, close enough for the enchanted flames to lick dangerously at his skin. "He's not worth it." It was a tense moment as they waited for Loki's decision. Slowly, the flames fizzled away and the fist lowered despite still trembling with censored rage. "Loki…" The god stormed out of the room, intentionally slamming into Mycroft's shoulder as he passed.

"Touchy fellow, isn't he?" The elder Holmes asked as he rubbed his smarting shoulder.

"You should expect such a reaction when you insult someone, Mycroft."

"I merely reminded him of the facts, Sherlock. Facts you yourself should keep in mind. He's dangerous."

"No more than you or I. As I recall you did intend to allow the terrorist bombing of a jet."

"We had plans in place to avoid any serious losses."

"Ah of course you did. Now in all seriousness, did you have an actual meaningful purpose for coming? Because if you don't, I have a much more serious and far more handsome matter to attend to."

"If you mean Loki, I still say you should throw him out. You're only going to get hurt and I'm sure S.H.I.E.L.D. can find another hole to bury him in."

"Is that fraternal concern I hear? I had no idea you cared." Mycroft glared at his little brother as he leaned farther on his umbrella.

"I would hate to lose an important asset. He does not love you, Sherlock. Men like him cannot love."

"If you are truly concerned about losing an 'important asset,' then you will _stop. Bullying. Loki." _Sherlock spoke in a soft voice but the last phrase dripped with venomous warning. The detective could easily allow Mycroft's harsh words to bounce off his mind. He had been doing that since they were children. But he absolutely could not stand by and let his brother abuse Loki to his emotional breaking point. Not with how fragile the god's emotions and mind actually was. "Loki is an important part of my life now. You can either accept it and move on or get out."

The tension between the brothers was so thick the knife would be broken in its attempt to cut it. There was silence between them as Mycroft considered the options presented. "Be careful, Sherlock. As I've said before, your loss would break my heart." Sherlock just glared as Mycroft made his way down the stairs. The consulting detective saw no need to inform his brother that he now sported black-tipped grey donkey ears and a swishing tail. He'd find out soon enough.

Besides he had more pressing matters in 221B in the form of a distressed trickster god. Wherever he was hiding, Loki was being far too quiet for Sherlock's peace of mind. That almost always meant trouble. "Loki?" No answer. Sherlock made his way towards his own bedroom, experience telling him Loki would be there. Since the two had made their relationship official, Loki and his belongings had been making a slow migration to Sherlock's bedroom. Not that Sherlock minded too much, he rather enjoyed have the powerful god snuggling into his side at night.

However, the current sight of his trickster lying face first on the bed, stock still and face buried among the pillows was not a sight he enjoyed. Closer inspection revealed a slight tremble to his god's shoulder, barely discernible to the human eye. Mycroft's words had clearly stung deep in Loki's heart and mind. "Loki love?"

"Go away."

"My bedroom," Sherlock pointed out as he sat beside Loki. "I can come and go as I wish." Loki shot a sharp rebuttal at him, but it was lost in the muffling pillows. Sherlock stretched himself out beside the god, snaking one hand up Loki's shirt to rub his tense back. The tension did ease a little beneath his tender touch.

"He's right about me, Sherlock."

"No, he's not." He tugged his god to him, only effectively turning Loki onto his side with his back to his mortal lover. "Mycroft is an idiot."

"Perhaps. But he is right… You're not safe with me… Or from me…"

"No one's safe from anything."

"I've killed."

"So have I."

"You killed someone who threatened your friends and family. I simply committed murder…"

"No one's perfect, Loki. If that really mattered to me, do you really think you would still be living at Baker Street?" The god grew silent as the detective's words weighed heavy on his mind. Sherlock kept rubbing Loki's back as he continued, "Loki, you are none of the things Mycroft accused you of being. You just made some very legally questionable choices sometimes." The Trickster scoffed.

"All the time you mean." A somber silence fell between them as Sherlock tried to plot how to ease his lover's mind. Loki had not fallen into this state of depression many times since arriving at Baker Street, so he had not discovered how to cheer him up completely. Rubbing the god's back did seem to help ease any tension in him but it wasn't always enough to clear the pain. And after the Horse Myth Fiasco, it was clear the Vikings were of no help to him.

"Loki… was I a questionable choice?" Sherlock knew the god would react in one of two ways (possibly both). He would either smack the man for making such a ridiculous inquiry (and possibly comment on him being an "insolent mortal"). Or he would be genuinely hurt again. As Loki finally turned to face him, Sherlock remembered he was an unpredictable god of chaos. He got his kicks from confusing the hell out of "his little mortal."

"Well…" Loki began, using what appeared to be one of Sherlock's shirts to wipe his eyes. "You are a pathetic mortal. Clearly it was a lack of proper judgment if you have to ask me that. And you're supposed to be a genius. Tch." And the arrogant god returns. Loki turned away from him again, muttering, "Only thing you are good for is warming my bed."

"First of all, it's _my _bed; you just steal it along with my shirts."

"My mortal, my bed."

"And If that's really all I'm good for…" He chose to ignore Loki's possessive quip. "Then I suppose you would not be interested in the tickets to that… dragon movie double feature you wanted to see that are in my pocket…"

"_The Hobbit?" _Loki turned to face Sherlock again, eyes wide with curious hope. "You said you saw no point in seeing those movies. That it was a waste of time."

"I know but you want to see them so I want to see them." The mischief god gave him a look that made it clear he didn't believe Sherlock's reasoning. Sherlock sighed. "And… John said if I really loved you… I would endure these stupid fantasy films with you…"

"Why, Sherlock. Your sweet honesty disarms me."

"Do you want to go or not? If you do then you'll have to return my shirt to me."

"Oh of course we are going and no, you are not getting your shirt back." Loki pressed a quick peck to Sherlock's lips before bouncing out of the room with a laugh, leaving the detective shaking his head at his mischievous lover.


	3. Chapter 3 part 1

III.I

It was absolutely ridiculous how hot London had been this summer. Sherlock rarely ever concerned himself with the surrounding weather, typically associating its level of necessity with the solar system. But with 221b's air conditioner on the fritz, even the detective felt himself wilting in the heat. To add onto his concerns, he was ninety-nine percent certain Loki actually **was** melting in his perch by the A/C. Since the ridiculous heat wave had begun, the mischief god had kept himself to one of three places: in front of the A/C, head in the refrigerator, or taking private ice bathes (despite Sherlock's best efforts.) Seeing Loki so affected by such a normal thing was quite worrisome.

Right now, the god was stripped down to a pair of black shorts, which he had probably stolen from Sherlock's dresser, and nursing a glass of ice water. "How in the world are you not burnt by the damned heat, Sherlock?" Said detective was sitting across from him on his laptop, working on his current case. The only visible sign he was affected by the heat was his rolled up sleeves and two buttons left undone. Which of course Loki took ample time to appreciate. " Surely, other criminals are too busy melting to commit any crimes."

"Crime never sleeps, Loki. Besides you're too much of a puddle to be of any entertainment to me."

"_You _are here to entertain _me, _mortal. Not the other way around…" The raven haired trickster kicked at the A/C as it began to fizz off and on again. "Damned contraption!"

"Abusing the A/C won't make it work and better. On the contrary, it's more likely to _stop _working altogether."

"Shut up, Sherlock." Sherlock closed his laptop and rested his chin on steeple fingers, studying his melting immortal. Loki's normally pale complexion was flushed pink from the heat and glistened with a fine sheen of sweat. It was only eleven AM. The heat had yet to reach its height yet Loki acted as though he was trapped in the Sahara. For the first time since they had begun dating, Sherlock was very worried for Loki's health.

"Perhaps I should call John to check on you. I'm sure he can-"

"I do not need 'checked on.' I just need a properly functioning cooling system."

"Loki, you're-"

"_No, Sherlock. _I do not need help from your precious sidekick." The detective huffed in annoyance, well aware arguing with Loki in his current state was pointless. That was like John trying to argue with him. Futile.

"Fine. Continue to melt. Just don't make a mess of the rug. Mrs. Hudson just got it cleaned." As the god gave his mortal an extremely rude gesture (or possibly invitation), Sherlock's phone pinged, alerting him to a text message. Sherlock checked it on his way to the freezer, rolling his eyes as he packed a towel with ice. It was just John telling him things he already figured out about the case. "I have to go to the morgue. I need to borrow a cadaver from Molly."

"Do NOT bring another dead body into this house. I'll not have any corpses fouling up the air of our home."

"Oh, fine… I'll leave it at the morgue… But only if I don't come home to find you a puddle on the floor. And you do not kill the landlady." Sherlock pressed the homemade ice pack to Loki's neck, making the god jolt away from him. "Relax. This will help you cool down. And the ice is wrapped in a towel so it shouldn't affect your allergy."

The Trickster eyed the ice pack with distrust before taking it from his lover, holding it to his neck. "I do not require a babysitter, Sherlock."

"I am well aware of that. However, you're too hot to move and you will have to eat eventually. And I thought you liked Mrs. Hudson."

"Not as a babysitter. I am fine."

"Tell that to your burning skin, love," Sherlock remarked as he felt Loki's forehead, quickly withdrawing his hand back with a hiss. "I'm fairly certain you may combust any minute." The god glared at him, emerald eyes darkening with annoyance. "Loki, please just… put up with having a babysitter so I can work. It's hard to focus on criminals when there's a chance I'll have to mop you back up when I return. And it would be so rude of me to not give them my full attention." That earned a chuckle out of the Trickster god, easing a little concern off Sherlock's shoulders.

"Fine. But you _will _make it up to me when you return home."

"Oh of course. But I'm not kneeling for you," the detective snarked as he pulled on his coat. Loki chuckled darkly, earning a curious look from Sherlock. Big mistake.

Loki was currently dragging the ice pack down his neck and chest in what was a blatantly seductive manner, tilting his head back and lazily closing his eyes. "In the end… you will always kneel…" It was Sherlock's turn to be flushed pink, but it wasn't from the sun's heat.

"Keep! Ahem. Keep telling yourself that, Princess." Sherlock leaned in to give Loki a quick goodbye peck. The sweating God of Mischief had other plans, grabbing his detective's head to pull him into a passionate drawn out kiss. "MMPH! Loki!" Sherlock certainly enjoyed his lover's Silvertongue every now and then but no when he had an important case to attend to. "I… Unf… I have to go!"

"No. Mine. Stay."

"I've got a case!"

"The stiff can wait."

"Your lips are turning blue?" Loki did pause in his attempts for some snogging time at that, brows knitting together in confusion. "You weren't wearing blue lipstick earlier were you…" Sherlock's observation made the god's eyes widen and his cover fly to his bluing mouth. "Loki, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just be home soon." With that, Loki bolted towards his room, leaving behind a very confused Sherlock.

- Burdened with Glorious Deductions - -

"Ha! This proves he was lying!"

"What does?"

"Oh, John, can't you see it?"

"All I see are bruises from you beating the sorry bloke to death. Again."

"No, no, no! Look at the pattern! The pattern!"

"Sherlock, I'm not you. You have to at least give a hint at what I'm looking at." Sherlock half sighed half huffed at him, glaring daggers through John's forehead. John met his gaze head on, completely unimpressed by the glare. He had been on the receiving end enough times to not care anymore. "Besides it's hard to tell what you're thinking when you're muttering about blue lipstick."

"Wait, what?"

"You were mumbling about Loki wearing blue lipstick while you were beating up this body. At least, I think that was what you were saying." Sherlock sighed again as he closed his magnifying glass, this time more out of resigned concern. "Sherlock. What's wrong with Loki? Is it the heat?"

"I believe so," Sherlock admitted after a beat. "It's affecting him much harsher than it would you or me but, of course, he won't let anyone help him."

"Well, he isn't exactly human. Maybe Asgardians just don't handle heat very well. I'm sure it's nothing."

"I don't think this is an 'Asgardian thing,' John. His skin was turning blue."

"Blue?"

"Yes, blue."

"Why would he turn blue? That usually means someone's very cold. Not something you'd expect in this heat wave."

"Well as you said, he's not exactly human."

"Good point."

"So far, I haven't found anything in the myths that's useful. Well one but it's highly unlikely to be true."

"I thought we stopped trusting myths after the uh… Horse Fiasco?"

"I just learned to take them with a grain of salt. There is some truth to the myths. Loki told me so himself."

"Good point. Again. I would hope he knew which myths weren't true."

"Um, boys…?" The pair turned to find Molly standing in the doorway, holding a phone out to Sherlock. "Sorry to interrupt but its Mrs. Hudson. I thought you'd want to take it."

"Thank you, Molly." Sherlock had to take a double take as he received the jabbering phone. "You're wearing makeup. You weren't wearing that a second ago."

"Oh, just… testing it out." John shook his head as Sherlock finally answered the phone. "So, he and Loki have a fight?" Molly asked, nodding to the now black and blue body.

"Nope. Believe it or not, Sherlock is… worried!"

"What's wrong with Loki?"

"How did you know it was Loki?"

"Well… You're standing here. You and Loki are the only two he would get panicked about." When John stared at her incredulously, she admitted, "And Mrs. Hudson said it was about Loki."

"Oh. That makes much more sense."

"John, we need to go. NOW." Both John and Molly jumped about a foot in the air at the sharp panic cutting through Sherlock's usual calm. Before they had a chance to actually ask what's wrong, the consulting detective was already speeding out the door, causing John and Molly to rush after him.


	4. Chapter 3 part 2

As an army doctor and a coroner, John and Molly had seen quite a few odd things in their respective careers. But neither of them expected the human shaped lump of blue collapsed on Sherlock's floor. Apparently, sometime between the time Mrs. Hudson called Sherlock and the trio arrived, Loki's skin had changed color, with strange tribal marks weaving along his body. While John gaped at the odd happenstance, Sherlock seemed far more concerned by the fact his lover was unconscious. "What the hell happened?"

"I-I don't know…" Mrs. Hudson choked out, trying to flip Loki onto his back. "We were just chatting away and all of a sudden he just collapsed out of nowhere!"

"Uh, Sherlock… Your boyfriend is blue…" John observed, still fascinated with Loki's new complexion.

"Yes, John, Loki is indeed now blue. Thank you for stating the obvious! More importantly he is unconscious! Do your doctor thing!" Sherlock was now helping Mrs. Hudson turn Loki onto his back and pulling him onto his lap, flinching at the initial contact. "He's freezing! Mrs. Hudson, get the blankets."

"No, get him ice. You too, John. Lots of ice," Molly ordered, kneeling beside the azure god. Sherlock shot her an incredulous glare.

"Molly, he's freezing cold! Clearly, he-"

"Is suffering from hypothermia in a hundred degree weather?" She shook her head as she began to take Loki's pulse. "He's alive but he's very weak. We need to freeze him."

"What?"

"Loki needs freezing cold to return to his human form. This heat is killing him."

"I think I have some spare fans. Let me go check," Mrs. Hudson offered as she scurried out. As this happened, John returned, balancing ice packs on Loki's forehead, neck, and wrists.

"I'm assuming you know what's going on, Molly?" He asked as Sherlock began to pat on Loki's cheek to wake him.

"Yes, I do."

"Care to share what's going on here?" Molly quickly grew silent on that, simply continuing to check on Loki's vitals. Sherlock noticed this and swapped a concerned glance with John.

"Molly, we need to know what's happening to Loki. _I _need to know."

"He doesn't like to talk about it, Sherlock. He made me promise not to tell anybody."

"Well, we've all seen he turns blue. I think it's a moot point by now," John pointed out. The coroner was still reluctant to share her information. "Look, I'll disappear if you want but if Sherlock and Loki are going to be together, he needs to know what's wrong." The room grew silent as Molly considered her options.

However, Sherlock made the decision for her. "John, would you go set my bedroom a/c to the lowest possible temperature?" He ordered when Molly didn't answer. "Ms. Hooper and I apparently need to have a little chat."

"Alright but be gentle with her. We're all worried about Loki's health right now." With that John headed for Sherlock's bedroom, leaving poor Molly with one extremely cross consulting detective. Molly seemed completely unfazed by Sherlock's ire.

"As long as we can get him cooled down and keep him that way through the heat wave, he should be fine."

"Why is he blue, Molly?"

"He overheated."

"Well, yes. That is now pretty obvious. But that does not make most people blue. Why would that force his skin to change color? Why… would he make a false form?"

"This is his true form, Sherlock." That silenced him. "This is what he actually looks like. What we usually see is an illusion. He… He's not originally from Asgard…"

Sherlock had no words, simply turning to the cobalt form that was his lover. Now, the pair had only been courting for a few months, barely even a year. But in those few months, the two had shared so much intimate information. Granted, most of Loki's was shared unknowingly, little hints and clues unveiled in how he took his tea or the way he read information. But never could Sherlock have deducted that beneath his god's pale features was this creature. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"He's not exactly proud of it, Sherlock." He didn't understand why. The more his eyes traced the strange lines marking Loki's body, the more he found he wanted to run his fingers along the beautiful map. "It's not something to be proud of on Asgard."

"He's told you but not me?"

"Not exactly. I found out on accident. Look… let _him _explain what this is. I doubt his magic will recover faster than his physical strength. Until then just keep him cool until the heat wave passes." At this moment, John rejoined them, hugging himself and shivering.

"R-r-room's r-ready."

Sherlock sat at his laptop, bundled up in a mountain of blankets and one hand gripping Loki's unconscious blue hand. Since Loki's initial collapse a week ago, the detective had refused to leave his side except to forage for food or use the loo. Even cases held no interest for him while Loki lay ill. He wanted answer from Loki and he was content with waiting in his currently subzero bedroom for them.

Loki had been set up in the bed, surrounded by about two dozen fans on him, courtesy of Mrs. Hudson. The god was still clad in shorts, although Sherlock had changed them into a royal blue pair that melded into his skin. He had not moved an inch on his own except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest. If Sherlock didn't regularly check his pulse, the detective would swear it was already too late.

"He still out cold, Sherlock?" John asked as he entered the room, carrying a red… thing under his arm. The detective didn't look at his friend but rather his lover, trying very hard to not be visibly deflated by Loki's status.

"Yes. But he hasn't worsened either so I suppose that's a good sign…"

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Sherlock. I mean he's been through worse, I'm sure."

"Maybe but…"

"You're still worried." Sherlock didn't answer that. "You know it's okay to be worried, Sherlock. In fact, it's even considered normal when you're in a relationship with someone."

"I highly doubt 'normal' really applies to my current situation, John."

"Well, no. You are dating a giant smurf from outer space. But everything else is the same. He's sick and you're taking care of him. That's a normal thing."

"No wonder it seems so boring." John chuckled, comforted to see Sherlock retain some of his humor. "What's that under your arm by the way?"

"What? Oh, this." The doctor displayed a scarlet plush dragon, sporting a blue scarf similar to Sherlock's own signature frock. "Molly and Mary made it for Loki. They call him 'Smauglock.' Apparently Loki's convinced you sound like the dragon from the _Hobbit." _

"Yes, so he told me." Sherlock didn't seem as impressed. "I'm sure he'll find that amusing when he wakes."

"That's what the girls are hoping for," John admitted as he positioned the little dragon to keep watch from the god's shoulder. "There. Now you've got someone to keep an eye on him while you take care of yourself."

"John, a plush dragon cannot actually tend to an ill person. It's an inanimate object."

"I know that, Sherlock. It's supposed to be comforting." Not for the first time, John felt like he was talking to a brick wall as Sherlock looked confused. How could someone be a genius and yet be so thick? "Never mind. Look, just… Remember to take care of yourself too. Alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, John."

"You look like you haven't slept since Loki collapsed." Sherlock grew very quiet at that. "Have you?" No answer. "I'll take that as a no."

"I'll be fine."

"You'd better. You're no good to him sick." John got up to leave when he added, "Oh, and call Mycroft so he can leave me and Mary alone."

"No."

"Okay."

When Loki regained conscious thought, he found his mind a muddled mess of thoughts. What cleared the mental fog was an amazingly clear female "Ooh…" While it wasn't enough to coax his eyes open, it did allow his other senses to awaken and sharpen. The first to register was touch. A thumb tenderly rubbing itself along one of the Jotun markings on his hand. The warmth of a human body near his own. The god's lips slowly curled into a smirk, knowing full well who that thumb and warmth belonged to. "Sherlock…?" Why did his voice sound so weak?

There was a rustling of fabric and the clatter of a dropped phone as the bed beside Loki dipped. "Loki?" There was a note of worried hope in his lover's voice. A warm hand cupped his cheek, the thumb brushing itself along his cheekbone. Loki nuzzled his face deeper into the warmth, surprised to feel something soft and possibly furry at his nose. He pried his eyes open to be greeted by a little plush dragon wearing Sherlock's scarf.

"You're not Sherlock." The real Sherlock chuckled, turning Loki's face to him.

"I'm over here, you smurf."

"You dare call me a 'smurf?'" The detective chuckled again, holding Loki's hand where he could observe his current blue tint.

"If the boot fits, you must wear it." Sherlock immediately regretted the joke, however, as Loki's eyes widened with shock and fear. "Loki?" The god's response was to yank his hand away, turning away from Sherlock.

"What… what happened?"

"You collapsed, love. Heat exhaustion. Apparently… your, uh, skin changes color when you're weak." Sherlock watched in confusion as Loki burrowed into the blankets, effectively hiding. "Loki?"

"Go away."

"My bedroom. Care to explain why you turned blue?"

"No. Go away."

"Loki, if you don't tell me, I'll start reading myths and post them to my blog. And say they are all true."

"No one reads your blog."

"Fine. I'll post it to John's blog."

"You're not that stupid."

"Loki, tell me the truth." Sherlock climbed in bed, hugging the Loki-shaped lump in his blankets. "I would love to know what makes you this absolutely fetching shade of blue."

"There's nothing 'fetching' about Jotuns."

"'Yotons?' What are 'yotons?'"

"Jotuns! Frost giants! The monster that I am!" The hate in Loki's voice effectively silenced the detective. Loki had always been a spiteful character when pushed, but never had he heard such self-loathing in his lover's voice. In fact, Loki was usually far more self-assured than even Sherlock. He didn't know much about "yotons," or Jotuns as Loki had corrected, but surely being this could not warrant such self-hate. Besides, Sherlock felt the red-eyed blue-skinned combo was rather beautiful.

"Loki… I was looking at that…"

"At what? A monster?"

"No…" Sherlock slowly pried the blanket down, steadily uncovering his azure lover. "Something new and beautiful… And very not boring." Victory came in the form of Loki's lips curling into a small smile. Its form may be odd but Loki knew being called "not boring" by Sherlock Holmes was a high compliment.

"You really think this is attractive? Most would not."

"Well then they are clearly looking at the wrong parts. I for one find these…" The detective traced a ride on his lover's arm, making the god shiver. "Particularly intriguing… Where do all these lead, hmm…?" He began to nip at the trickster's neck, intentionally tickling the sensitive skin.

"Would… would you like to… f-find out…?"


	5. Chapter 4

IV

Sherlock released a deep groan as he tried to stretch out his back, using his hip to shut the door to Baker Street. The last case had been particularly physical in nature, leaving the detective sore and stiff thanks to quite a few miscalculated jumps between roofs. If he didn't see another dumpster for the rest of his life it would be all too soon. Right now, all he wanted was to collapse on his bed and feel Loki's magical fingers massaging away the tension in his lower back. He'd work on an appropriate bribe later.

The detective began towards his and Loki's apartment, not surprised to hear music wafting from the door. His godly lover had cultivated quite an appreciation for Earth's music, his taste lingering mostly with classical and instrumental music. Loki had developed a particular favoritism for violin music. Sherlock had no idea where he had picked up that preference.

The music playing through 221B today, however, was none of these genres. The song sounded familiar but Sherlock couldn't exactly place why. As he entered the apartment, he was surprised to hear Loki's voice melding with that of a young woman.

"_Let it go!_

_Let it go!_

_Can't hold it back any more!" _

Sherlock was careful to creep into the apartment soundlessly, not wanting to disturb Loki and his guest. Hearing Loki was such a rare treat that the detective didn't really mind if his lover did have a guest. Despite having the voice of an angel (at least in Sherlock's opinion) Loki was extremely self-conscious of his singing voice.

"_Let it go!_

_Let it go!_

_Turn away_

_And slam the door!" _

He leaned in the kitchen doorway to watch his lover sing. It turned out that Loki was alone with the CD player turned up loud but not enough to drown him out. The god of mischief was nimbly twirling about the kitchen, different spices and pats dancing about around him. Even Smauglock, Loki's precious plush dragon, was flying about, almost alive in the way he floated around.

"_I don't care!_

_What they're_

_Going to say!" _

The god was so caught up in his music that he didn't notice his lover was watching the spectacle. Not that Sherlock was protesting. He was enjoying the show quite a bit. He had to be as silent as possible as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, not wanting Loki to realize he was being recorded. The last time the detective had attempted this, Loki had not only kicked him onto the couch, but had cast a little raincloud to follow him around everywhere for a week.

"_Let the storm_

_Rage on!_

_The cold never_

_Bothered me anyway!"_

Sherlock could not find it in himself to be surprised Loki was singing _Frozen _karaoke. Nor could he mock him for it. Since Mary and John had forced them to see the popular movie, Loki had become somewhat obsessed with Disney's snow queen. As odd as it seemed for the Norse God of Mischief to love Disney, he could actually see why his lover favored Elsa. Loki had been banished from Asgard, as much for his differences from the Asgardians as well as his crimes in New York. But even among the friends he seemed to have made since courting Sherlock, he always seemed an outcast, willingly or not.

"_It's funny how_

_Some distance…_

_Makes Everything_

_Seem-"_

"Ooh.." Sherlock swore as a text message came in, pausing his recording and blowing his stealth. The sound caused Loki to turn towards him, whatever spell had been cast on the dancing objects breaking. Everything clattered to the floor except for Smauglock, whom Loki managed to catch.

"Sherlock! What are you doing?" Sherlock quickly ducked the phone behind his back, hoping Loki didn't notice the motion.

"What? Nothing! Just watching."

"Were you recording me?"

"Absolutely not. Why would I do that?"

"Give me your phone."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to." The mischief god began to stalk towards him, causing the detective to start backing up.

"Sherlock, I know you're lying." The god was mere inches away from his lover now, eyes flashing a fiery emerald color. "Give me your phone. Now."

"And if I say no?" Loki was in kissing distance, making Sherlock wonder if the act of something bolder would distract him from his quest. The trickster must have had the same idea for his hand tugged on the lapels of Sherlock's shirt, pulling him closer.

"You don't want to say no, Mortal…" Loki's cold lips were ghosting over Sherlock's as he spoke. "Hand the phone over… And you shall be rewarded…" For a moment, Sherlock was tempted to actually give in to Loki's seduction and hand over the phone. But where was the fun in that?

"No." And with that, Sherlock wriggled out of Loki's grasp and took off, only making it into the living room before Loki pounced on him, knocking him to the floor. The detective extended his arm as far as his reach would go, determined to keep the phone out of Loki's more extensive reach. "Get-oof! Off me!"

"Give! Me! Your phone!" The god straddled his mortal's waist, effectively pinning him to the floor. "You will _not _win this! Give me your phone, Sherlock!"

"Never!" Sherlock tried to throw the phone away from himself but Loki pinned his arm to the floor and grabbed the phone.

"Ha! I win!"

"Wanna bet?" With that the detective dug his fingers into Loki's side, causing the Trickster to start chuckling. He then brought his free hand to the god's exposed side, surrounding him in a fierce tickle attack. Sherlock found himself once again mentally thanking Mary for buying Loki mortal clothing as he would have never found this particular weakness through thick armors and leathers.

In Loki's fit of laughter, he finally dropped Sherlock's phone. The detective was quick to act, knocking the device away from the pair and out of Loki's sight, finally relieving the god of his vicious tickle attack. Loki took the chance to pin Sherlock's wrists beside his head, glaring venom laced daggers through his fading chuckles. "You-hee hee- will pay for that!"

"For what?" Sherlock asked, feigning innocence.

"You know damn well what, Mortal."

"Is it a crime for me to want to enjoy your voice in the future?"

"You recorded that without my permission. Then you lied to my face when you had been caught. You ran from me then proceeded to viciously attack me."

"There is nothing vicious about being tickled, drama queen."

"Silence, Mortal." The detective obeyed, well aware he was in deep trouble. Loki had assumed the demeanor of the dark prince, every tense muscle radiating danger. He shook his head. "I'm disappointed, Mr. Holmes. You had been… so well behaved lately." The God of Mischief leaned towards his detective's face, eyes glinting with smoldering impishness. Sherlock gulped, unsure of whether to be terrified or aroused. "Now I have no choice…" Loki whispered, burying his face into Sherlock's exposed neck mischievously. "But to punish you…" As the god dug his teeth into his detective's neck with dominant affection, Sherlock considered the idea that punishment may not be such a bad thing with Loki.


End file.
